Ugliness

So at work we have 13 kids. I will admit that not all of them are the typical "cute" children. There's this one in particular. She has eczema, and severe allergies which cause her to have rashes all over her body. Her poor body is itchy all over, and she scratches so hard she makes herself bleed. All this itchiness and pain makes her freak out several times a day. But it's understandable.

The other day I was changing this girl's diaper, which she hates, so I was trying to calm her down. I was saying the usual thing like, "calm down honey". I also said something like, "Don't cry, you're so much cuter when you smile". Well, one of my co-workers just looked at me and said, "Cute. She's not cute, she's ugly". The one short little comment just threw me for a loop. How could anyone say this poor girl is ugly? Yes she has rashes and imperfect skin, but she also has the cutest smile, she gives the biggest hugs, and she is a baby. I just wanted to look at that woman and say, "No, you're the ugly one, you're ugly on the inside for even daring to say something so mean about an innocent child". Ugh, it makes me so mad.

This same woman has taken it upon herself to destroy all the faith I have in Ryan being a good dad. Keep in mind, she's never even met him. But she makes comments all the time. I told her when Ryan has early days he will pick up Ryleigh from school to spend time with her. Her comment, "yeah that's what all the dads say, but they never do it.". Yesterday she asked, "What will your husband do when the baby starts crying?". I said, "He'll try to make her laugh and cheer her up". This woman said, "No, he'll be handing her to you. Dad's can't stand crying children.". Then today, while kids were crying, "Don't you wish you weren't having your baby?". Arrrgggggg! Are you serious! This lady drives me crazy! I can't believe she can be so mean all the time. And the worst part is, she's my superior and I am supposed to respect her. How can I respect someone with such a horrible attitude towards children and family?

I found out she doesn't believe in religion. So I know I am there to be a Godly example and hopefully witness to her. But, I don't know how. She's cold hearted and disrepectful. She never says the words please or thank you, she lies to the parents all the time, she complains about our managers, and she bad mouths all the parents. It's driving me crazy. Just pray I survive till my maternity leave!

The greatest gift

Out of all the things I am so fortunate to be able to give to my baby I really think the greatest gift will be her family. By the time she is born she will have 6 great-grandparents! That alone is an amazing thing.

When I look at my family tree I see a lot of MIAs, and question marks. It's got so many added branches it's nearly impossible to draw out. The question of family has always been such a difficult one to answer.

But Ryleigh will be born into a great family. She will hopefully get a chance to meet all 6 great-grandparents. And she is so lucky to have two sets of grandparents that will be there to love her and spoil her. Not to mention the added bonus that they're all Christians. I know a lot of prayers have gone out on her behalf since day 1..... actually, knowing my grandfather he's been praying about his future great-grandkids for years. And I don't think I could ask for anything more for my child.

I am also proud of myself. On my mom's side of the family I am the first one to have a child in marriage, and not out of wedlock. I am so glad that I will have nothing to hide from my daughter. I love her daddy so so much, and she was planned and wanted. She will never have to go through life thinking she was an accident. She will hopefully grow up with all her cousins, and aunts and uncles, and grandparents around. She will be able to laugh at all the family stories we tell. As she grows we will see bits and pieces of our family showing through in her personality. I can't wait.

And maybe this is a little over-emotional but what can I say, I'm pregnant. Haha.