My pretty kitty

I woke up this morning to see Hera standing at the side of the bed staring at me. That always means that her water bowl is empty. She stares me down until I manage to roll myself out of bed, then she leads the way to her empty water bowl and stares at me as if to say, "How could you let this happen?". (of course, she doesn't remember that daddy woke up first and she could have asked him for more water). So I filled up her water dish and put it on her place mat. And this is what happens...

For some inexplicable reason she likes to pull her water dish off the place mat. She once pulled it all the way to the front door. Why? Who knows. She's crazy. But now, every time we round the corner of the living room chair we have to watch out for her water because you never know where it's going to end up.

I questioned her about it this morning, but this was the only answer I got.... a blank stare

Yay! We're certified!!

For the past 4 weeks Ryan and I have been going to a childbirth class to help get us prepared for the upcoming big day. It's been pretty informative and I feel like it'll be reassuring to know what's going on when we're in the hospital. Little did we know that by taking this course we would get a certificate. Last night we toured the hospital and had our last class and then we got certificates for completing the program. Haha. So, maybe Ryleigh's just been waiting for us to be certified.....

I have to admit, I'm starting to get nervous, especially after visiting the hospital yesterday. They have a lot of procedures that I don't want. For example, they do constant fetal monitoring, which means I'll be strapped up to machines and won't be allowed to walk around like I want to. They also rely heavily on pitocin, which is a drug that speeds everything up, and I don't want it. Unfortunately nowadays giving birth is looked at as more of a medical procedure than a natural process.
There's so many drugs, machines, and medical interferences that are common place now that it gives women the impression that labor is something they cannot do on their own. I would much rather have a completely natural birth. I was reading in a magazine that when a woman is at home, surrounded by people supporting her, she feels much more confident in herself. She will realize what a natural process childbirth is, and will find the strength to do it. That sounds so much better to me than being forced to stay in bed, with doctors pushing you to get an epidural and take away from something that God gave me the ability to do.
I want to feel confident. I want to go through the pain. I want Ryan to support me and comfort me instead of being numbed by drugs. And I want the ability to have something to hold over Ryan, and Ryleigh's heads for the rest of their lives. Haha. How much guilt would I be able to elicit from Ryan if I take the easy way out and get numbed by an epidural? I would never be allowed to use classic lines like, "I went through labor to give you a daughter, the least you could do is buy me a diamond necklace". :-)
Ok, I'm joking on that last part.... a little....

I know I am naive about all the pain because I've never given birth before. But I also know that I would feel so much more comfortable staying at home and not being bother by all that medical stuff. Oh well, maybe next time :-(

Up all night

I've been up all night. I've tried reading. I've tried counting sheep. I've tried it all. I just can't sleep.

One reason I can't sleep is pretty obvious. I miss sleeping on my back!!

The other reason is because of Broadway. I have a song from Rent in my head and it won't go away! If you've heard the commercials, Rent is now touring, and two of the original cast members are in the show, and it's coming to Philly and I really, really want to see it, so I've been nagging Ryan :-) Thankfully Ryan enjoys musicals as well. It's one of the reasons why I feel in love with him. Back when we had just met I took a look at his CD collection and when I saw musicals mixed in with every thing else I was amazed.... and I was even more amazed when I found out he actually knew the words and would sing along to them. That was a prerequisite for the man of my dreams that I honestly never thought I'd find.

Anyway, back to my sleepless night..... if you've ever seen the show, or the movie you'll know one of the songs had lyrics that say, "rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, we're not gonna pay rent"..... and that's what's in my head. That song is by far the most repetitive song ever but it will not get out of my head...... and therefore I have been up the entire night singing it in my head.

I wish I was a philosopher and I had deep meaningful thoughts running through my head. Haha.

stupid questions deserve stupid answers

I can be a very sarcastic person. I try not to let this side of me show, but I'm pretty sure that at home Ryan and I are more sarcastic than serious most of the time.
This being said, it has been extremely difficult for me to hold my tongue this past week. I keep having people come up to me and ask about the baby. No lie, I actually had someone come up and introduce themselves and then ask why I haven't had the baby yet!

I usually say something like, "well, it's too cold outside and she's nice and snug inside, so she refuses to come out". I do not go into my explanation that I think the doctors have been wrong saying I was due on the 22nd because that doesn't make sense, I start week 40 on the 29th, so they should have kept that as my due date. I try to be nice, and funny and just brush off this annoying question.

But next time someone says, "where's the baby?" I think I'm just going to start yelling, "oh no! I knew I forgot something important at home!". Or maybe I can just tell the person, "I'm not pregnant"..... but I can't keep a straight face long enough to do that :-(

3am

Right now it is 3:19 and I can't sleep. I probably can't sleep because we took a two hour nap today..... except Ryan's upstairs sleeping like a baby and I'm sitting in the living room watching the fish.

There's not much to do this early in the morning. I did my usual email, facebook, myspace check. I also searched online for a job. That's right, even though I have one I am not happy with the situation, so if I can find something better that would be great. I've been toying with the idea of getting a late night part-time job. Like something for maybe 3 nights a week and maybe every other Saturday at like CVS or something. That way we wouldn't have to spend any money on daycare cause Ryan could watch Ryleigh I while I was at work and she could be safe and secure at home. But then I don't know when I'd sleep so maybe that's not such a good idea. I'm also thinking about a paper route. One of my aunts did one for a while and it works out because you can be done before the kids are up (or just stick them in the car with you), and you can be done before the hubby has to leave for work, therefore, no need for day care. Now keep in mind that these are only my random thoughts at 3 in the morning. My current situation will work out as well..... I just don't want to be apart from my baby at all, even if she's in the same building! And I make horrible pay at Goddard, I mean I make in two weeks what Ryan makes in one week! To see our paychecks side by side is so depressing!

Sometimes I think about being a teacher. And then I think, well my kids would still have to go to daycare, and I'd come home in the evenings and have to write lesson plans or grade papers and all that stuff. The money would be nice, but would it be worth it?? Being a substitute would be nice, if it was at an elementary school (I can't handle older kids).... the only problem with being a sub is I would be out of a job and paycheck for the summer.....

Welcome to the frantic mind of a pregnant woman who can't sleep! Ahhh....