My pretty kitty

I woke up this morning to see Hera standing at the side of the bed staring at me. That always means that her water bowl is empty. She stares me down until I manage to roll myself out of bed, then she leads the way to her empty water bowl and stares at me as if to say, "How could you let this happen?". (of course, she doesn't remember that daddy woke up first and she could have asked him for more water). So I filled up her water dish and put it on her place mat. And this is what happens...

For some inexplicable reason she likes to pull her water dish off the place mat. She once pulled it all the way to the front door. Why? Who knows. She's crazy. But now, every time we round the corner of the living room chair we have to watch out for her water because you never know where it's going to end up.

I questioned her about it this morning, but this was the only answer I got.... a blank stare

Yay! We're certified!!

For the past 4 weeks Ryan and I have been going to a childbirth class to help get us prepared for the upcoming big day. It's been pretty informative and I feel like it'll be reassuring to know what's going on when we're in the hospital. Little did we know that by taking this course we would get a certificate. Last night we toured the hospital and had our last class and then we got certificates for completing the program. Haha. So, maybe Ryleigh's just been waiting for us to be certified.....

I have to admit, I'm starting to get nervous, especially after visiting the hospital yesterday. They have a lot of procedures that I don't want. For example, they do constant fetal monitoring, which means I'll be strapped up to machines and won't be allowed to walk around like I want to. They also rely heavily on pitocin, which is a drug that speeds everything up, and I don't want it. Unfortunately nowadays giving birth is looked at as more of a medical procedure than a natural process.
There's so many drugs, machines, and medical interferences that are common place now that it gives women the impression that labor is something they cannot do on their own. I would much rather have a completely natural birth. I was reading in a magazine that when a woman is at home, surrounded by people supporting her, she feels much more confident in herself. She will realize what a natural process childbirth is, and will find the strength to do it. That sounds so much better to me than being forced to stay in bed, with doctors pushing you to get an epidural and take away from something that God gave me the ability to do.
I want to feel confident. I want to go through the pain. I want Ryan to support me and comfort me instead of being numbed by drugs. And I want the ability to have something to hold over Ryan, and Ryleigh's heads for the rest of their lives. Haha. How much guilt would I be able to elicit from Ryan if I take the easy way out and get numbed by an epidural? I would never be allowed to use classic lines like, "I went through labor to give you a daughter, the least you could do is buy me a diamond necklace". :-)
Ok, I'm joking on that last part.... a little....

I know I am naive about all the pain because I've never given birth before. But I also know that I would feel so much more comfortable staying at home and not being bother by all that medical stuff. Oh well, maybe next time :-(

Up all night

I've been up all night. I've tried reading. I've tried counting sheep. I've tried it all. I just can't sleep.

One reason I can't sleep is pretty obvious. I miss sleeping on my back!!

The other reason is because of Broadway. I have a song from Rent in my head and it won't go away! If you've heard the commercials, Rent is now touring, and two of the original cast members are in the show, and it's coming to Philly and I really, really want to see it, so I've been nagging Ryan :-) Thankfully Ryan enjoys musicals as well. It's one of the reasons why I feel in love with him. Back when we had just met I took a look at his CD collection and when I saw musicals mixed in with every thing else I was amazed.... and I was even more amazed when I found out he actually knew the words and would sing along to them. That was a prerequisite for the man of my dreams that I honestly never thought I'd find.

Anyway, back to my sleepless night..... if you've ever seen the show, or the movie you'll know one of the songs had lyrics that say, "rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, we're not gonna pay rent"..... and that's what's in my head. That song is by far the most repetitive song ever but it will not get out of my head...... and therefore I have been up the entire night singing it in my head.

I wish I was a philosopher and I had deep meaningful thoughts running through my head. Haha.

stupid questions deserve stupid answers

I can be a very sarcastic person. I try not to let this side of me show, but I'm pretty sure that at home Ryan and I are more sarcastic than serious most of the time.
This being said, it has been extremely difficult for me to hold my tongue this past week. I keep having people come up to me and ask about the baby. No lie, I actually had someone come up and introduce themselves and then ask why I haven't had the baby yet!

I usually say something like, "well, it's too cold outside and she's nice and snug inside, so she refuses to come out". I do not go into my explanation that I think the doctors have been wrong saying I was due on the 22nd because that doesn't make sense, I start week 40 on the 29th, so they should have kept that as my due date. I try to be nice, and funny and just brush off this annoying question.

But next time someone says, "where's the baby?" I think I'm just going to start yelling, "oh no! I knew I forgot something important at home!". Or maybe I can just tell the person, "I'm not pregnant"..... but I can't keep a straight face long enough to do that :-(

3am

Right now it is 3:19 and I can't sleep. I probably can't sleep because we took a two hour nap today..... except Ryan's upstairs sleeping like a baby and I'm sitting in the living room watching the fish.

There's not much to do this early in the morning. I did my usual email, facebook, myspace check. I also searched online for a job. That's right, even though I have one I am not happy with the situation, so if I can find something better that would be great. I've been toying with the idea of getting a late night part-time job. Like something for maybe 3 nights a week and maybe every other Saturday at like CVS or something. That way we wouldn't have to spend any money on daycare cause Ryan could watch Ryleigh I while I was at work and she could be safe and secure at home. But then I don't know when I'd sleep so maybe that's not such a good idea. I'm also thinking about a paper route. One of my aunts did one for a while and it works out because you can be done before the kids are up (or just stick them in the car with you), and you can be done before the hubby has to leave for work, therefore, no need for day care. Now keep in mind that these are only my random thoughts at 3 in the morning. My current situation will work out as well..... I just don't want to be apart from my baby at all, even if she's in the same building! And I make horrible pay at Goddard, I mean I make in two weeks what Ryan makes in one week! To see our paychecks side by side is so depressing!

Sometimes I think about being a teacher. And then I think, well my kids would still have to go to daycare, and I'd come home in the evenings and have to write lesson plans or grade papers and all that stuff. The money would be nice, but would it be worth it?? Being a substitute would be nice, if it was at an elementary school (I can't handle older kids).... the only problem with being a sub is I would be out of a job and paycheck for the summer.....

Welcome to the frantic mind of a pregnant woman who can't sleep! Ahhh....

Nesting

So supposedly women go through a "nesting stage" in which they get a burst of energy and they decide to clean their house and get ready for the new family member before they go into labor. So, in preparation for my nesting stage I am not cleaning.... what's the point in doing it now when I don't feel like it if I'll go through a phase where I really want to? I'm just going to save it all, haha..... I am such a procrastinator!

The only flaw in my plan is what if I don't go through that stage?

Haha. So for those of you who plan on coming over once the baby is born, please excuse any mess that may be laying around.

And that brings me to another thought. I'm pretty sure I will be the type of person who will want lots of visitors at the hospital and at our house once we get home. If something changes I'll let you know, but for now, having family and close friends around seems nice.

Acme of Woodbury

Today we ran to Acme to pick up a few things. While we were there a lady gets on the intercom and says, "Acme of Woodbury, how may I help you?", as if she's answering the phone...... She continued, "Hello? Hello?"..... so the people in the store responded by saying, "hello" back to her. Haha.
Mind you, this is the same store in which, as I was standing in line two employees were talking. One of them was complaining about the fact that the customers there make her do work because they're all too dumb to work the self-check out machines. And she said this loudly enough for every one of the customers in her line to hear her.
Crazy.

Walking....

Well every one says walking brings on labor, so I've been walking.... if walking around the mall counts. Haha. It's too cold to walk outside!!

The other day we walked the Deptford Mall.... no results. So I decided to go to the CH Mall today since I was up in the area anyway.

No results yet. But I did browse every single store that sells baby clothes. I didn't buy anything cause I still want to wait and see how well Ryleigh matches up to the sizes. I know lots of kids that are like 3 months old but have to wear 6 month clothes, so I think it's best to wait. But it was so much fun just looking at the clothes!! Everything was adorable!

I can't wait to spoil the crap out of my daughter!! Although, we already know Ryan's really going to be the one to spoil her the most (aside from grandparents of course). His heart is going to melt, and I'm going to be the one to play "bad cop" when it comes to disciplining. Haha

Trying not to be bored

I bought some stuff at Target a couple of weeks ago, and then as it turns out I decided to return them. So, I returned them and ended up getting 80$ on a gift card back :-) So yesterday I got to walk around and find things I wanted to buy! So much fun! Except, I only bought one thing because I am practical and I know I will need that money later for diapers or something down the road. But I did buy a pack of photo paper and decided I would kill some time scrapbooking.

I started a scrapbook like a year ago. The idea was to scrapbook our wedding and our first year together...... so, finally, after almost a year and a half of marriage I finally got around to it. Haha.

The only sad thing is, due to our computers crashing we lost almost all of our pictures. The only honeymoon pics I have were the ones I posted on Myspace.... and due to the cheap camera we used to have they are all blurry :-( Thankfully my wonderful sister in law Michelle took lots of wedding pics, and put them on Snapfish and I still had the link :-) But then after the honeymoon pics I was able to retrieve we have almost no pictures of our first year together :-( So sad. Technology can be wonderful, but in this case I'm pretty mad at it.

I'm just so glad we have a photo printer, and a nice new camera that takes good pics. I will definitely be sure to print pics of the baby as soon as possible so we don't end up losing memories of her.

I'm trying not to be a total lazy bum but it's pretty hard when it's freezing outside. I don't want to leave the house. Thankfully tonight we have plans to go out to dinner with a group of friends, and then go to the movies. I love when I have something to look forward to.

New news

I had to go back to the doctor for something today. Don't worry everything's fine. And this time while I was there they examined me and said I am 2 centimeters along. Now I know that I could stay at 2 cm for weeks and make no progress.... but it's somewhat a relief to know that the beginning of the end is near. It's also pretty darn scary.

It's also a relief to have the assurance that my body knows what it's doing. It knows that the baby is ready and it's almost time to deliver. I'm glad my wiring works correctly.

So this evening we headed to the mall to walk around to speed things up. While at the mall we spotted some cute little baby Eagles outfits. But we've decided not to buy one until we know if the Eagles are actually headed to the Super Bowl. Maybe a Superbowl party will be Ryleigh's first outting.... or maybe I'll be stuck in the hospital that Sunday, in which case I hope the party will come to me cause it would really suck being stuck watching it by myself in the hospital :-( Either way, go Eagles!

Start feeling sorry for Ryan

Ryan is a lucky man. He has a wonderful wife, who, despite being pregnant was not over emotional, or irritable. She has been pretty normal and even-keel..... until now.

This week his wife did a turn around. She should now be kept in a bubble where she has no interaction with anyone or anything. Little things can set her off, like missing a turn while driving, or dying on a video game. She tears up and stresses out. And poor Ryan, the only relief he'll get is probably when he has to sit with his wife through labor... and then he gets to deal with another woman in his life that cries a lot and will be overly sensitive. :-)

I really hope, for his sake, that the next baby is a boy..... I'm pretty sure being outnumbered by girls 3:1 (including the cat) can get pretty old.

I almost just got in a fight with my front door

Everyday for the past 2 weeks every time I walk into work I have co-workers, and parents of the students look at me and say, "Why are you here? You should be on maternity leave". My theory is, I will get bored being on maternity leave for too long. They all tell me I need a vacation before the baby is born. My theory is that after labor, and a couple of sleepless nights feeding the baby my "vacation" will pretty much be a blur, therefore, why bother?

Well today I woke up feeling another cold coming on, and with shooting pains in my leg, so I finally decided I should go on leave. I worked today but it was my last day.

I am already regretting my decision. I am dreading this week and next week. What the heck am I supposed to do with myself?? I have no idea.

To make matters worse, I had a doctor's appointment today. They checked my blood pressure and the baby's hear rate.... and that's it. :-( I was hoping they'd tell me I was making good progress and the baby would come soon. I was hoping they could give me more of an idea of when she's due. Everyone keeps asking me if I've started dilating yet, and I was hoping to have an answer. But no, I got no new info and now I have to spend over a week just sitting around waiting till my next appointment! Ugh. I know that no one can predict when a baby is going to come, I'm not asking for an exact time and date.... I'm just asking for some confirmation that it's something that might happen before next Christmas! The idea of sitting around, waiting, doing nothing, and having absolutely no control over the situation is pretty much my idea of a nightmare!! I am going to go crazy.

The only thing I know is I have sciatica and they can't do anything about it. I just have to deal with the pain in my leg until the baby is born. grrrrr.....

I'm so bummed, and stressed, and upset I almost just got in a fight with my front door..... the stupid keyhole is messed up and we have to literally pull as hard as we can to get the key out, and the metal pieces grind against each other and make a horrible noise.

And, to make matters worse, for the 2nd time in a row the doctor told me the baby's heart beat sounds like a boy! Thanks for giving me something else to stress about for the next few weeks! I wouldn't mind a boy but I have a closet full of dresses!

I'm going to be a hermit

I'm scared to call anybody on the phone now. Everyone I call freaks out, thinking I'm calling to say I'm in labor. Even when my mom is at work she answers. Ryan gets scared when he misses a call from me. I don't think I'm going to call anyone until the big day, I'm tired of bursting everyone's bubbles when I have to say, "no, I'm not having the baby"... so if you don't hear from me for the next 13ish days don't feel bad. Haha.

The great debate

So both Ryan and I have laptops from our college years, and considering it's been 3 years since we were in college that makes our computers pretty ancient. Mine has only been allowing me to play Sims and sometimes get online, and that's it, for over a year. Ryan's was fine up until a few months ago when it decided to crash and bring all our pictures saved up from over the years with it.

Well, we thought we fixed the problem until yesterday when Ryan's computer turned to a blue screen and doesn't want to recover. We're trying to reboot it, again, which means we are going to lose all our Christmas pictures, iTunes downloads, and all my Sylvan programs. grrrr.

To take our laptops to Geek Squad and have them try to fix it would be over 200$. Is paying that much money to fix ancient computers worth it? Ryan suggested getting an external hard drive to store everything important on, and then we;ll just have to to reboot the entire computer every few months. That's probably the best option, but as I type we're rebooting the whole thing and it's making Ryan mad. Or, we could just bit the bullet and buy a new computer.

The whole issue is frustrating because the last thing we need to be doing is spending money. Plus, I hate to say this, but I just don't think I could live without a computer. I've thought about it. Even if I quit Sylvan I think I'd still rely on a computer. Facebook and blogging are the only way I keep up with people most of the time. Once Ryleigh's here I know everyone will want to see pics, and what good is a digital camera without a computer?
How sad are we that we cannot live without technology. I feel disappointed in myself that the world wide web is such an important part of my life :-(

I got permission

I had a doctor's appointment today. This week they took my blood for the last time, and ran some other test to make sure everything's good for when I go into labor. They estimated that the baby will be a "6.5 pounder". Her heartbeat's good. My blood pressure is good.. everything's good.

My doctor officially "gave me permission" to have the baby.... in other words, Ryleigh is full term, things are looking good, and everything's a go. My due date is officially the 22nd now. They've been mentioning that date, but I guess all the measurements and stuff line up with that date instead of the 29th now, so it's my new due date..... that's 20 days away!

As I was about to leave the doctor said, "I'll see you at your next appointment, or at the hospital, whichever comes first"..... Ahhh..... that was kind of nerve racking.... my next appointment in in 9 days! I don't even want to think about having the baby in the next 9 days... it seems too soon!

But I did go home and pack a bag for Ryleigh since I was given a list of everything I'll need at the hospital for her. So we're ready with that. I just still can't bring myself to pack an over night bag for myself.....it seems like it should be against some crazy superstition to pack your bag early. Like, if I pack early then she'll come two weeks late or something.

I really hope I feel more ready once the time actually comes.... but I doubt I will

Happy New Year!!

Well last night was not very exciting. We went out for dinner and then rented a couple of movies. I was feeling sick and I barely had a voice by the end of the night because of this stupid cold thing I can't get rid of :-( But we watched the ball drop at midnight, kissed, and then went to bed..... We also saw some fire crackers..... someone decided to literally cover the entire road with thousands of them. The cracking last about 15 minutes into the new year!

I just finished addressing the last of my thank you cards from my shower in October! Now I only have about 20 more to go.... ugh..... I hope Ryleigh doesn't come anytime soon because I don't want to have to address all those birth announcements! It's too much work.

Christmas is put away and ready to be brought to storage later today :-( The house looks boring without all the lights :-( But I put a baby swing in place of the tree and that's exciting.

I hope everyone had a great new years!!